-This just in, a breaking news story! We have reports that our beloved Spiderman, savior and protector of the people, just assaulted and apparently 'ate' his blushing bride-to-be during the wedding reception. Oh! Thank you, Tom. I just got intel that the bride's name is Mary Jane Watson, who would have been Mary Jane Parker today, had it not been for her groom's inability to wait to eat the wedding cake! If that's his idea of 'eating out', then I'd hate to see what their honeymoon's gonna be like. (canned laughter) Folks! I have just received some rather tear-inducing news! Apparently, the very recently deceased Mrs. Parker was seen leaving the appartment building of one Harry Osborn. Ooohhh, talk about insatiable, right Tom?
-That's right, Terry. And just before the wedding, too. Now that's what we call 'unbridled promiscuity'!
-Ahaha! It sure is, Tom. (canned laughter)
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